In a situation where I had information withheld from me: initially I’d felt hurt and irritated that information was withheld. But I recognised while they were not honest with me, in this circumstance they were also not honest with themselves as a shield from feeling hurt. I decided not to confront and approach it with understanding. On reflection I’m grateful to have let my feelings go and prioritise compassion.
I don’t seem to hold culture close to my personal identity, my culture would mostly be what I’ve subliminally absorbed from my parents. I grew up in Auckland and my parents are from China, I would say through advice and hearing their stories they’ve influenced values in me such as self-reliance, determination, and generosity. In relation to identity, my family has influenced an appreciation for good food and for sharing it. Their manner of showing affection is often unspoken and it took me a long time to realise sharing a meal together is a way they express care. Outside of family, I am indebted to my friends for inspiring a love for adventure, authenticity, and great kindness.
My VIA signature strengths are...
In the past I’ve had a dear teacher tell me I limit myself by having my ‘black thinking hat’ on too soon and for too long. I have tended to be critical about ideas before giving it a chance or a try. Over the years I’ve tried to consciously rewire my mind to not dismiss ideas before exploring it, even if it’s a little. Sometimes the ‘black hat’ creeps in without notice and I have to step back and reassess if it is affecting myself or others. Another limitation is that I am naturally withdrawn and quiet, it takes a lot of energy to put myself out there and to be bold. I believe this can be easier with practice.
In a group work setting with a fast approaching deadline: there was resistance from the team and I was realising I could not meet the deadline on my own effort. A strategy employed at the time was to set up a meeting where we defined the outcomes we needed to hit and then breaking these outcomes up into small digestible tasks.